Yes, I'm aware that I've already posted today, but no worries, this isn't supposed to be a post that involves active reading. This will be a picture & caption post of things I would buy if I actually had money.Don't expect this post to be non-shallow, because it is completely and truly shallow, but hey, girls like shoes and jewelry and I'm no exception.
Did you know that the Converse website let's you design your own shoe? I didn't know until this morning, but as soon as I found out, of course I designed my own! Unfortunately, it won't let me post a picture of it, so I'll try my best to describe them.They're low-rise Chucks. The body is maroon and the tongue is the paisley heart pattern (sounds gross but I like it). The stiching is "flame" orange and where you can get your name written on them, I put "mine". Yeah, so they're kinda crazy but most of my shoes are boring, so I want some crazy ones!
This is a ring from Fossil that I love! The antiqued pewter look is awesome, and it also has a little bedazzlement in the center of the flower on the right. You can wear all three together, or you can wear them separately. Here's the link. (I'm a size 8 *hint hint*)
These are the Haute Rocker II boots from Naughty Monkey. Not crazy about the toe, but overall, I love!
This is the Tiery-eyed dress from Shabby Apple. All of their dresses are really chic and sleek, but I think they would all look wayyy better on someone who's tall, rather than on me. So Shabby Apple, if you're reading this (doubtful), make some dresses with short girls in mind!
I pretty much adore ALL Fossil watches, but this one is my favorite at the moment.*sigh* I want it...
These Carhartt bibs are actually something I'm going to buy because I need them since it's soooo cold outside and farmwork is kinda miserable without them, but I thought I would put them on the list anyways. :)
So this SMI Super PoleCat snow maker is the most impractical thing on my list, but hey, a girl can dream right? It must be expensive, because they don't list the price...
These Oakley polarized Encounter sunglasses are, of course, high-quality and they're also the shape, size, and color I like.
This Yamaha grand piano is something that is impractical right now, but my future house has a room specificially built for a shiny ebony grand. Gorgeous, simply gorgeous.
Lastly, I want this Hurley Windchester peacoat. My thick black fleece coat has seemed to disappear, so that leaves me with my Carhartt and my bright aqua-blue snowboarding coat. Neither are exactly fashionable, hence, the need for a new coat.
Like my title says, this blog post is not about the dating/relationship topic. Actually, I want to write about WHY boys are no longer my constant worry.
The whole point of choosing to not date right now was to reduce the time and worry that I spent thinking about guys (you know what I'm talking about, the whole "does-he-like-me-and-if-so-how-much" thing). The few days after I made that decision were pretty tumultous because of thoughts like "wait how do I interact with guys now that dating is out of the picture?" and other insignificant, albeit important to me, worries.
But now, although I do still think about guys from time to time, I feel a real peace about my decision and how it will affect my life. "Why is that?" you might be wondering. The answer might sound rather cliche, but it is so true... My peace comes from thinking about how much God loves me instead of dwelling on if a boy loves me.
These past couple of years, I have gotten really bad about doing daily devotions and journaling, but one of my goals for 2010 is to get back into it. So, on January 8 (yeah I know I was a week past the beginning of the year) I broke out my Bible, my new journal, and my copy of Oswald Chamber's My Utmost for His Highestand spent a long time meditating on how incredible my Lord is. It was a hands down great time!
(Somehow, my Bible, journal, and book all happen to be shades of maroon... I guess I subconciously really love that color.)
Anyways, by the time Saturday morning rolled around, I was bursting with stuff to talk about with my friend Lindsey, who I consider an older-sister figure in my life.After some yummy coffee cake, two mugs of coffee, and 3 1/2 hours of conversation, I left her house with a happy heart and a book to read--- The Hiding Place by Corrie ten Boom. I began this fascinating book on Saturday evening and read steadily until I finished it at 3:00 on Sunday morning. Needless to say, as I sat in early service at church I was quite sleepy...
Basically, the point of this post is to show you that I have had a nice, peaceful couple of days and it is because I have gotten my attention re-focused on God, rather than on the guys in my life (or lack thereof). Tomorrow I'm moving back to Blacksburg for the beginning of another semester, so it will be a struggle to maintain my focus on Him during these upcoming crazy days, but I will (hopefully) succeed in this important endeavour!
Oy vey. I still have not gotten any better at knowing how to interact with guys so they don't get the wrong idea, but I'm learning! Sunday when I was at Barnes & Noble I did manage to find a book that I absolutely devoured--- For Young Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn and Lisa A. Rice. This book is written based on surveys and interviews with guys 15-20 years old.
Some of the stuff I knew, but a lot of it was stuff that I had never thought of before. Something that really stood out to me is that girls are based on wanting to be loved and will allow themselves to be disrespected as long they get love, whereas, boys want to be respected even if that means they'll be alone and unloved. In general, I agree with this premise, although I think I fall somewhere in the middle. Yes, I like to be loved. But if it comes down to making tough choices, I'll do the right thing, even if it means I'll be hated for it. God has wired me in such a way that I don't care that much what others think about me. Sometimes this can make me kind of callous, but I like to believe that I also manage to be sensitive to others' feelings, but maybe that's just wishful thinking...
Anyways, while I'm in this single stage of life, I want to get better at being a good friend, both to girls and guys. I have a good mix of guy friends and girl friends, which means I need to learn how to speak both "guy language" and "girl language". While I do have my fair share of problems with speaking girl language (remember, sometimes I can be callous and insensitive), right now, my main problem is this gosh-durn-guy language. There's a reason that most of my guy friends are in relationships. If a guy already has a girlfriend, then it makes being friends, and ONLY FRIENDS, much simpler. We can talk about sports, cars, or whatever and there is no emotional drama crap involved. But on the other hand, if a guy friend is single, at some point in our friendship I have to make my intentions clear--- ONLY FRIENDS.
Right now, I'm really working on how to understand how guys interpret the things I say or do, and it's really confusing!!! Like I mentioned before, guys speak the language of respect, and that's something I'm learning to understand. I'll write more about that some other day. Until I understand how this whole stupid guy-girl dynamics work, I'll try to keep my mouth shut so I stop putting my foot into it! TTFN as Tigger would say...
It has been 3 days since I wrote that I am choosing to be single (for the time being). By making this decision, I have relieved a lot of worries about "oh does that guy like me" type of things. At the same time, however, it has opened up new worries about "well if I text so-and-so will he get the wrong impression" type of stuff.
I've been seeking out resources to answer some of my questions about how I should relate to guys and this is where my frustration began. Yesterday I was at Barnes & Noble in the "Christian Inspiration" section looking at the books. There were a ton of books for married men & women and I finally found a shelf where the books written for singles were. The first book was about how to go about finding a mate. The second was about how to attract a godly guy. The third was about how to handle dating. Every book on the single shelf was about how to become un-single!
I realize that the vast majority of Christians will get married. I believe that even though God has wired me in such a way that I can survive without a guy, He is not calling me to be single forever.
But for right now, I am single and I am not looking for crying out loud!!!
WHY do people in this world believe that you HAVE to have a boyfriend?? Well, for people who inundate themselves in secular music and movies, it's easy to understand how that belief seeps in to our minds and takes root. From a 15-yr-old boy singing "I can fix up your broken heart, I can give you a brand new start, I can make you believe, I just wanna set one girl free to fall in love with me" to the Twilight movies that show a girl throwing away everything (friends, family, etc) for a boy, Hollywood is telling us over and over and over again that we NEED to have a special someone.
But what I don't understand is how the Christian community still believes that I NEED someone!! Ok, so many Christian books tell teenage girls that they don't NEED a boyfriend, that they are special and wonderful, and that God loves them, so it's all good. But practically, there is NOTHING behind these words to back it up. You can pick up that same book for teenage girls and read the chapter on how girls don't NEED a boyfriend, then flip to the next chapter and read about how to be attractive to Christian guys and find a guy to date. It's nothing but contradictions and I hate it!
I KNOW that I don't need a boyfriend. Now where are the books and the blogs and the advice to help me in my quest to be single and happy??? *sigh*
I will continue looking for advice and resources and keep you posted...
It is said that women are fickle creatures and, being of the female persuasion, I totally agree.My emotions can change quite quickly and dramatically, but what really scares me is how I so rapidly change my mind about guys.
One second I’m in love with some hot British actor and googling him left and right.The next second, I see a picture of another actor and start to google him instead.
One day, I meet a guy who I know is trouble, yet I want him to notice me and ask me out anyways.The next day, I think the guy is a shallow creep (which he was all along, but I just didn’t pay it any mind at first).
One week, I’ll be head over heels in love with a guy and want to marry him.The next week, I just want to be friends.
Arghhhhhh!It’s frustrating.It’s silly.It’s shallow, superficial, and ignorant.
It is exactly what this world encourages.
The raunchy magazines I see on the racks in the check-out line, the celeb stories I see splashed across the headlines, and the “dating advice” I hear on talk shows all tell me that I should “love ‘em and leave ‘em”.Get what I can out of a guy then quickly move on before I can get hurt.
The problem with that philosophy is that it is not painless.It hurts.A lot.
I have barely ventured into the world of dating (because I see how crappy it turns out for most people) and I have already been hurt.
Since my last post, I have seriously been seeking out how I should go about the whole dating thing.I have sought advice from friends, from books, and from God, and I have made up my mind.
DATING IS NOT FOR ME.
Now, this doesn’t mean I would refuse to go grab coffee or lunch with a guy.It just means that I absolutely refuse to get caught up in that cycle that so many girls my age think is essential to their happiness.I refuse to give away my heart, just so I can say that I have a man who loves me.I refuse to use some poor unsuspecting guy to make me feel loved.I refuse to be part of a relationship if I can’t fully commit to it.
My lack of commitment is a big driving force behind the reason that I do not want to date.According to “my” plan, I am not getting married for 10 years.One of the main reasons for that is because I don’t want to be tied down or held back.I want to live my life full of adventure before I get trapped into something I can’t get out of till the dude kicks the bucket.(Just for the record, I don’t think marriage is awful.I think it is a beautiful thing that I someday want to commit to, heart and soul.But I’m not ready for someday to get here today!)
When talking to a very wise godly friend of mine, she mentioned that when she was my age, she was in a relationship with a guy that ended up lasting 3 years.When I heard 3 YEARS, I had a mini-panic attack.Ohmygoshicannotgetstuckwithsomeguyforthreefrickinyearsthatspracticallyforever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
After I got over my little freak-out moment, I saw how eye-opening my emotional response can be at times.(See, I guess there’s a reason God made women so emotional after all!)I saw that I am in no way, shape, or form, ready to seriously commit to a relationship.
But at the same time, I refuse to lead a guy on if I’m not going to commit.
So the best solution that I see at this point is to “just be friends”. (As if that would stop my heart from racing when I see some pair of gorgeous blue eyes or a tan six-pack…)My heart is still just as fickle as always, but I’m determined to keep my emotions inside, or sometimes spew them to my blog, instead of lovin and leavin some guy depending on my emotional state of the day.
I am still in pursuit of the best way for a young God-seeking woman to react to the opposite sex.I’m currently re-reading I Kissed Dating Goodbye and Passion & Purity to see what gems I might have missed when I read these books a few years back.Consider this a warning that a lot of my future posts might be discussing the whole dating thing in further detail…
Until then, I will leave you with a reminder to guard your hearts and to always, first and foremost, love the Lord your God more than you love anything or anyone.(Don’t go thinking I have this down no problemo, I’m reminding myself too!!)
