A Timeless Reality

It is said that women are fickle creatures and, being of the female persuasion, I totally agree. My emotions can change quite quickly and dramatically, but what really scares me is how I so rapidly change my mind about guys.

One second I’m in love with some hot British actor and googling him left and right. The next second, I see a picture of another actor and start to google him instead.

One day, I meet a guy who I know is trouble, yet I want him to notice me and ask me out anyways. The next day, I think the guy is a shallow creep (which he was all along, but I just didn’t pay it any mind at first).

One week, I’ll be head over heels in love with a guy and want to marry him. The next week, I just want to be friends.

Arghhhhhh! It’s frustrating. It’s silly. It’s shallow, superficial, and ignorant.

It is exactly what this world encourages.

The raunchy magazines I see on the racks in the check-out line, the celeb stories I see splashed across the headlines, and the “dating advice” I hear on talk shows all tell me that I should “love ‘em and leave ‘em”. Get what I can out of a guy then quickly move on before I can get hurt.

The problem with that philosophy is that it is not painless. It hurts. A lot.

I have barely ventured into the world of dating (because I see how crappy it turns out for most people) and I have already been hurt.

Since my last post, I have seriously been seeking out how I should go about the whole dating thing. I have sought advice from friends, from books, and from God, and I have made up my mind.

DATING IS NOT FOR ME.

Now, this doesn’t mean I would refuse to go grab coffee or lunch with a guy. It just means that I absolutely refuse to get caught up in that cycle that so many girls my age think is essential to their happiness. I refuse to give away my heart, just so I can say that I have a man who loves me. I refuse to use some poor unsuspecting guy to make me feel loved. I refuse to be part of a relationship if I can’t fully commit to it.

My lack of commitment is a big driving force behind the reason that I do not want to date. According to “my” plan, I am not getting married for 10 years. One of the main reasons for that is because I don’t want to be tied down or held back. I want to live my life full of adventure before I get trapped into something I can’t get out of till the dude kicks the bucket. (Just for the record, I don’t think marriage is awful. I think it is a beautiful thing that I someday want to commit to, heart and soul. But I’m not ready for someday to get here today!)

When talking to a very wise godly friend of mine, she mentioned that when she was my age, she was in a relationship with a guy that ended up lasting 3 years. When I heard 3 YEARS, I had a mini-panic attack. Ohmygoshicannotgetstuckwithsomeguyforthreefrickinyearsthatspracticallyforever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After I got over my little freak-out moment, I saw how eye-opening my emotional response can be at times. (See, I guess there’s a reason God made women so emotional after all!) I saw that I am in no way, shape, or form, ready to seriously commit to a relationship.

But at the same time, I refuse to lead a guy on if I’m not going to commit.

So the best solution that I see at this point is to “just be friends”. (As if that would stop my heart from racing when I see some pair of gorgeous blue eyes or a tan six-pack…) My heart is still just as fickle as always, but I’m determined to keep my emotions inside, or sometimes spew them to my blog, instead of lovin and leavin some guy depending on my emotional state of the day.

I am still in pursuit of the best way for a young God-seeking woman to react to the opposite sex. I’m currently re-reading I Kissed Dating Goodbye and Passion & Purity to see what gems I might have missed when I read these books a few years back. Consider this a warning that a lot of my future posts might be discussing the whole dating thing in further detail…

Until then, I will leave you with a reminder to guard your hearts and to always, first and foremost, love the Lord your God more than you love anything or anyone. (Don’t go thinking I have this down no problemo, I’m reminding myself too!!)