A Timeless Reality

Pretty much anyone who knows me knows that I am a planner. I know what year I will graduate vet school, I know how many years I am going to spend in the army, I know the floor plan of my house, I know when I want to get a dog, and I know when I want to get married (11 years from now, in case anyone cares).

I am not one of those college kids who has no idea what they want to do with their life. I know exactly what I want to do with my life. And there's the problem. I know what I want to do with my life.

I do not know what God wants for my life. Sure, I have my plans, but so what? I will throw away all of my plans in a second if I feel God wants me to do something else. Honestly, I will feel such a relief to have a clear calling from God, I won't even feel bad about throwing away my plan. For years I've prayed "God, I do not know what You want with my life. And since I haven't heard you say any different, I will continue with my plan for now. But the second that you want it to change, let me know and I'll go your way!" It's like, all the things that I've been dreaming of for years, are just the basic boring plan. I don't want that. I want more.

Right now I'm thinking that maybe I should get involved with overseas veterinary missions. I would LOVE to go to South America and teach the people how to make a proper living from livestock. I would LOVE to ramble back and forth with the people in Spanish, or whatever dialect is their native tongue. I would LOVE to hug those smiling children with their dirty hair and their warm, chocolate eyes. Oh wait... there I go planning again. See, I would love to do that, but is that what I'm supposed to do???

I feel lost right now. I don't which way's up or down. I don't even know how to give advice to people anymore without it coming off as unloving. I don't feel like I'm doing anything useful with my life right now. There are soooo many things I could be doing for the Lord, even if I don't have a college degree. Heck, there's a girl in Africa who's 20 years old and is the mother to 14 orphan girls! I could do that, no degree required! (Read this amazing girl's story here).

So, yes, of course I've formed a plan to help me figure out what God's plan is for my life. This is what it looks like right now:
1) Contact the vet missions club at the vet school
2) Contact some of the vet missionaries down in South America and see if I could come for a month or so.
3) Talk to my youth pastor back home and ask him to keep his ears open for opportunities for me.
4) Most importantly, pray.

I know that what God wants to happen, is going to happen. There are a few verses that have been resonating in my heart and mind these past couple of days.

Proverbs 19:21 Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails.

Isaiah 55:8 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord.

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."

So for now, I will work hard where I am. If He wants me to be a missionary vet I have to get into vet school first... So I'm off to go master this darn Organic Chemistry!!!