A Timeless Reality

I know that college is supposed to be a time where you figure out your life and that you are more free than you ever will be in your life and blah blah blah. This is the time for you to make the big decisions in your life. This is the point where you will stand at many crossroads and decide whether or not to take the "road less traveled" (Frost). Some days it's totally and completely awesome that what I do right now is so important, but most of the time, it sucks. A lot.

First off, I'm broke. Broker (I know that's not proper grammar) than I have ever been before. I have $4 in my checking account and $2 in my wallet. Ouch. Thank God my housing and schooling bills are taken care of for the rest of the semester (if I understand that University Bursar office correctly at least).

I do have a $30 parking ticket to pay sometime within the next 10 days though. And it was NOT MY FAULT!!!! I was parked in the same parking lot I always park in, but apparently the campus parking people who like to play God (ok so I'm a little bitter) changed the rules, and they didn't bother to inform anyone (even the ladies at the parking service office heard about it for the first time today). So the nice ladies at parking services gave me a form to fill out to appeal the ticket. That made me smile. But then the lady added, you have to pay the ticket before you can appeal it. Smile quickly turned to a look that read "ohcrapidon'thavethirtydollars!!!!!". So yeah, a quick text to my older bro, and he put a check in the mail for me. Yay for interest-free loans!

Second big problem, grades. Ugh. You know how frustrating it is to study study study study study your life away, then end up getting a big fat C?!? It's awful! And it's not like it's only happened once this semester. So far, it's been the rule, not the exception.

So the grade problem leads me to another problem: career choice. I KNOW what I want to do. I want to be a large-animal veterinarian for crying out loud! But... what if I don't get into vet school? What do I want to do then?? And the answer is, I don't know. And that scares me. A lot.

Lastly, the big thing I have to figure out right now is where I'm going to live next year. Next year as in, fall semester 2010. As in, 11 months from now. Ugh! How in the world am I supposed to figure that out NOW?? So much can change in 11 months. Greedy landlords are just trying to force me into a lease. *glare*

The point that I'm starting to realize from this is that even when I have nothing, I have everything. Everything that matters at least. And no, it's not money, a nice apartment, or a secure career. It's a peace, a joy, a love, that surpasses my understanding. Even when I have so many worries weighing me down, I really have nothing to worry about. So yeah, life sucks, but God is good. :)